Before all these things seem totally normal to me (as I’m now two months in!) I want to take note on a few things I find strange and interesting in Brazil.
Putting a thumb up is still a very alive and commonly used gesture here in Brazil. I’ve seen it used to say thanks (as well as you’re welcome!), cross the road and just to say “Hey I’m alright!” This will be something I’ll have to work hard not to do back in the U.S.
Cushy Toilet Seats
On not one, but a few occasions I’ve gone to perch my little behind on the porcelain god and instead of rebounding a bit, I sink right in! It’s comfy but a little disgusting. Especially in this hot weather…I don’t think I need to explain.
Wanna know something else I found repulsive? On a DAILY BASIS I have to listen to my roommate snort his snot into the back of his skull and then precede to hock that snot in his throat. I suppose after, he swallows because I’ve never seen him spit. Although many a Brazilian love to spit on the sidewalk…where I walk…often in front of where I’m walking. I’ll have wrinkles by the end of my stay here because of all the cringing I do!
And that’s not all! Apparently sniffing your snot back in is a perfectly socially accepted thing to do. After meeting a new student for a coffee I had to sit through and pretend I was oblivious to his constant sniffing and snorting. So tempted to offer him a napkin (WHICH WERE RIGHT THERE ON THE TABLE), but I couldn’t find the balls to do it.
Ice Cold Beer
Estupidamente gelada! Brazilians love their beer really freaking cold. I once saw a girlfriend get into it with her boyfriend for serving a hot beer. At the time I didn’t speak Portuguese so well, but there were a lot of angry gestures at the beer and the word “quente”. Some may say that Brazilian beer is bad and that’s why it’s served so cold. I’m not sure about that, but it is super refreshing on a hot day!
Brazilian cat calls and compliments are the best! My favorites are:
Parabéns- Congratulations! Like “Congrats on being hot.” Lol maybe you should be telling my mom that!
Gostosa– Delicious! Like “You look so good I can eat you” hehe The acai beach seller (you know which one I’m talking about) once very slowly and sensually dragged out a deliiiiiiicia for me. Still not getting R$15 out of me!
Gata, Gatinha– Cat! Kitty cat! Like “Meeeeeow!” A gata is a hot chick.
Coisa Linda- Pretty thing! Like “Hey you pretty little thing.” I just think this one is cute.
Que Isso- What’s that?! hahaha this one is too good! If someone thinks you’re looking supa fine they can show their shock by asking “What’s that?!” kind of like saying “I can’t believe my eyes!” I’ve only gotten one of these as the person was checking out my backside, but maybe that’s just me (??)
Brazilians are very hands on people. I’m still confused whether to kiss my students on the cheek or not. When I try not to, they seem to feel uncomfortable and have to pat me or shake my hand. It’s the strangest phenomenon and I don’t know how to stop it. HALP!
Often in the grocery store I’ll feel a breath on my shoulder while waiting in line. Anyone’s baby is completely fair game to cheek pinch and coo at. Brazilians just seem to be okay with that kind of proximity that Americans aren’t.
The above is an actual ad for a brazilian diet pill! My own bunda resembles it because I have my wannabe tanga and my legit up my arse tanga.
But enough about my bumbum!
Most women wear a thong much like the ad picture and so have nearly no tan lines on their behinds besides a small white triangle on their tailbones. But what I find baffling is that they actually strive to have tan lines across their chests! After days and days of beach-goings, I noticed the women around me weren’t tying their straps around their backs like any normal person would do. Confused I asked some Brazilians chums what gives. Their response? Tan lines are sexy!
Yeah that wouldn’t be bad image quality alone! I’d say it’s safe to say that the majority of women here don’t shave above the knee, but many don’t shave their leg hair at all. What do they do instead? Bleach it! Even dark skinned women will have curly blonde hairs cascading down their shins. Being as lazy as I am I thought I’d join in on the fun and stop shaving above the knees. Two weeks into it when my leg hair blew in the breeze I knew it was time to shave.
Possibly my favorite observation and something I find hopelessly Brazilian, is their style at the gym. Skintight spandex, socks pulled up like leg warmers and cleavage revealing deep Vs are Brazilian sex goddesses’ choice workout wear. Although their figures show they put in work (can you say SQUATS), I’ve heard the gym is an excellent place to pick up babes. Actually I’ve heard that a lot and still have nothing to show….
maybe it’s time I get myself into a catsuit! Miau!