Teaching English to Children

Look, mom! I’m a professional!

 Why you staring like you never seen a cardboard briefcase? Just because it isn’t Chanel….

In honor of the “the way the world sees me” memes that are (kind of still) popular, I present you:

Expectation of working in Paris:

Pardon me madame, would you have any Grey Poupon?

(source)

Reality:

Yes, that’s store brand cereal and granola bars in the background. Now you know my secret…….I’m poor!

Expectation of teaching English to children:

The little girl on the right is thinking, “God damn! Here we go again with this know-it-all.”

(source)

Reality:

Actual in class photo. We played “Guess What Word I’m Drawing!” My words were rainbow and beach… Inside the word bubble it says “Help!”

More reality:

A desperate cry for help from a small student after a couple weeks of class. “Tú entiendes español?” (Do you understand Spanish?)
From the same little girl from above. I’d already lied and told her I didn’t speak Spanish. She wrote this on a paper to NO ONE in particular after I had congratulated her on doing a good job on an exercise. “¡Cómo no! Muy fácil!” (the way she would have said this in English: Duhhhh! That was SO easy!)
For a small extra fee, I do group classes!

OMG! Does it stop???

Nope.

Don’t worry! Between the harsh realities there ARE successes:

A 7.0 is an A+ in Chile! This brings on the *tear* I made a small difference *tear* moment.

So, do I like teaching English to children? Yes.

Is it my favorite age group? Not-uh.

I still prefer college aged students. I relate to them more. *For the most part,* they don’t goof off like the kiddos and they don’t mouth off like the high-schoolers. They sure as hell are able to remember words/vocab better than the adult learners.

Strategies I’ve learned “on the job” with my kiddies:

1. Bribes DO work.

2. Positive reinforcement is nice. (Up top!) Personally I’m disturbed by the French “tough love” approach to teaching.

2. Always let the child think he/she is running the show. Have three lesson plans in mind. (If you’re extra lazy, they can all be the same, but with different names). Let the child choose which exercise he/she wants to do. Works everyyyy time and they go at it with such enthusiasm because they think it was their idea! (fooled you …*nelson style ha ha!*)

3. For the love of god! Laugh! Enjoy yourself! Maybe the kid will too!

4. If you’re losing the child’s attention ♫ Just singggg! Sing a song! ♫ Especially if you’re doing what I like to call “glorified babysitting” aka English only (pays slightly more) babysitting. GB sometimes brings you to the streets! So many dangers! I’ve never seen a child stop more dead in their tracks (and proceed to follow me) than when belting out “It’s raining men! HALLELUJAH! It’s raining men!”

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2 thoughts on “Teaching English to Children

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